On May 10th the male creation of Germany celebrates a very special day: a day on which youngsters and oldsters roam the cities of Good ol’ Germany without any upper body coverage and carrying ‘Bollerwagen‘ overloaded with alcohol behind them. A common sight on this day is how Germans devolve back to basic animal instincts as they show a variety of intellectual behaviour that ranges from biting a police officer, pickung up fights with other drunktards and sleeping in your own vomit; usually it is a combination of all three.
Originally introduced as a Christian holiday under the name of Ascension Day, this day was tansformed in East and West Germany to Men’s Day or Father’s Day and is now both tradition and cancer of the German culture. The end results of that day are mostly young and old people sleeping in street corners, huge pollution because they are too lazy to clean up their mess, and an increased crime and accident rate. Here are a few locations you should avoid at all cost in Rostock on that day:
- harbour
- beach
- inner city
- basically everywhere where men have the possibility to gather around
That the alcohol industry benefits massively from this day and therefore promotes it constantly, of course, remains a conspiracy. No average German really knows why this day even exist. Yet, every young man will undergo this tradition once. Some will learn to love it and participate annually afterwards, some will learn to hate it and avoid this day at all cost. I think you can conclude which faction the author of this text belongs to. But what do you do on a day when the shops are closed and war breaks out between drunken men outside?
The question is as simple as it is ingenious. Treat yourself alone, with family or with like-minded people to a quiet, royal day full of work and relaxation at home or in nature.
Ascension day celebrated as a Men’s Day is the perfect day to do many of the things that men otherwise have no time for. Doing taxes, household chores and cleaning in the morning to do something good for yourself after lunchtime. What’s better than cooking a great selfmade meal, organizing a Poker round to rip off a few friends and ending that day together with the newest intriguing blockbuster provided by Netflix or Prime.
Now a really fancy and daring idea: You use Father’s Day as a Father’s day. Spend the day with your son and go together for an exciting adventure. What I liked to do as a child with friends or family was rent a canoe and explore the local rivers. Here in Rostock there are several canoe tours, especially recommendable is the calm and versatility of the Warnowtour. During the trip you can wear royal shirts to give your son a shameful and yet wonderful father-son time.
Afterwards you can create a wonderful camping experience with your loved ones, a memory which will last much longer than any pointless and peasant drinking trip. And of course you can then have one or two drinks responsibly.
At the end of the day you can have the certainty that you have made something productive and meaningful out of your day instead of drowning out the last brain cells and sleeping in your own piss. That is what I call royal.
